The Truth About Living for Others

The Truth About Living for Others

This post is part of Shapermint’s #ThisIsMyTruth campaign, launched to spark up an honest-to-heart conversation about our own bodies, through the personal stories of four extraordinary women. Click here to learn more about #ThisIsMyTruth.

So many of us set aside our dreams or sense of fulfillment to please others. And it’s because we’re raised to constantly seek outside approval: we’re expected to act “lady-like” (whatever that means…), dress fashionably, look flawless, handle every single one of life’s curveballs, juggle everything we need to do AND more.

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#ThisIsMyTruth I’ve always been self-conscious about my legs and thighs. I’m pretty sure it all started back in my 5-year-old ballet class in Westborough, MA. My figure started to take form kind of early on and in my class, I was the only...thick one💁🏾‍♀️I look back at old pics and remember how my classmates (all of them) were straight and narrow while I had curves that filled out my leotard. I went through a stint of time when I tried to hide my legs until after undergrad when I started to try more form-fitting clothing and low and behold...I liked what was staring back at me in the mirror! Then and only then did it truly resonate with me: thick thighs save lives!🙌🏾💥💁🏾‍♀️I decided I did not want to look like others and ultimately grew to appreciate that a coca cola body shape is dope💥and apart of what makes me me! I do my best to stay fit, but now with the understanding I’ll never be thin. It’s just not my body composition and that’s ok. I’ve learned how to dress for my smaller waist and wider hips (will put tips in my stories!) and am much more accepting of me! I’ve never considered myself much of a Body Positivity enthusiast. Just someone from a culture where curves are engrained, embraced, expected, and celebrated!🙌🏾 And now I can celebrate for myself (#BodyExpressivity ?)💕Love yourself as is: quirks, imperfections, failures, thick thighs, and all! That’s what I would tell the little girl in the picture (swipe ⬅️) and that’s what I’m telling You! What’s your truth? Share your self-love story with the hashtag #ThisIsMyTruth 💕#Shapermint #LoveTheSkinYoureIn #Sponsored • • • My looks are old, but I linked as much as possible! Shop it all with the @liketoknow.it app! • • • http://liketk.it/2Auso #liketkit #LTKcurves #atlantafashionblogger #blackfashionblogger #blackgirlswhoblog #naturalista #medicalstudentblogger #medicalstudentstyle #surgeonista #RoadToMD #surgeryandthecity

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When we refuse to conform, we risk being rejected - not just by men, but by potential employers and even our families. And if we fall short of those expectations or don’t find happiness in living up to what others want us to be, we feel like there’s something wrong with us.

It’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Here’s some truth: you are always enough, as you are



Feeling torn between following your dreams or winning the approval of others? Feeling guilty for resting when you have so much to do? Feeling selfish because you’re taking care of yourself when you should be taking care of others?

Don’t know what to do? Follow your heart.

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#ThisIsMyTruth my stomach has been my biggest insecurity. The loose skin, stretch mark, 3 time c-section belly. I would hide it away. Choose angles for people to not see it in pictures. Here I am, this belly grew 3 babies, those stretch marks are reminders of what I’ve been threw. The sagging skin, trophy of extreme weightloss. I love my body for all the work I put in it. I’m not ashamed because I got up everyday and put myself first. I overcame obesity. I am a mother of 3 healthy beautiful girls. I am BEAUTIFUL. I want to share with you all my truth, now... what’s your truth? I know being vulnerable is hard, but don’t dim your light! Because you are GORGEOUS! #ThisIsMyTruth . . . . . . #danieladiaries #lifeafterweightloss #looseskin #weightlossjourney #beforeandafter #bodypositive #selflove #girlpower #womensupportingwomen #vulnerability #lovetheskinyourin #girlsgeneration #embraceyourself #chicago #bossbabe #fitnessmotivation #stretchmarks #csection #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #girlsquad

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We get it. Disapproval from others can hurt.

But what makes you different makes you amazing.

Be fierce, be unapologetic, be kind to yourself, be you.

And if you still need a little extra dose of inspiration, here’s Jill to do the honors:



THIS IS OUR TRUTH. What’s yours?

Share your story of self-love and body confidence using #ThisIsMyTruth on social media - who knows, you might inspire us and see yourself in one of our posts ;-) It’s your turn to erase the shame away and inspire all women to let their inner light shine through!

Watch the #ThisIsMyTruth campaign video below:



Video Transcript

I morphed a few times from being that the frumpy Wisconsiner to kind of a little bit of a rebel in school. I was married very young, at the first time and my husband was starting to be in the ministry.

So, we were going to church so I changed into this more conservative person.

And then, after about age 25, we divorced, and then I got into the business world and I was working more on the business side, so I got a little more being single and so a little more not, not so conservative let's just say, and then I married my husband, when I was 32 and we were together for 14 years.

We had a lot of friends that were in their 60s 50s and so I fit that role of being more of like the wife. And then when he died, I was like "okay , now what is Jill?" You know who am now? What do I do?

I'm learning, I'm learning how to just real ly love and accept myself and appreciate myself in a new way and not doing it for what someone else wants me to be. And I'd say this is probably the first time I've ever truly done that, actually never had a chance to experience that and not looked at what to the popular people at 14 think of me and how should I be and then when I was single, you know as an adult and how should I behave in business, and then being married even.

And I like myself right now I'm really I've come full circle after these two and a half years or so of being alone and getting to know me again and creating myself and what it is my image and, and who I am inside.

I think I have more confidence today than I ever have.